How to stay focused and live life more wholesomely

By: Mitzie Mood: happy Date: 08/28/2008 07:09:27 Music: None

Our lives have a three-fold
relationship, the relationship we have with ourselves, the relationships
we have with others, and our relationship with God or one's Higher
Power. Over the years I have heard people tell me, I don't have time for
me, or that's selfish and self-centered. One of the most important
relationships one will have in this lifetime, is that relationship with
one's self. When one fails to be the care-giver to themselves, what you
inevitably will see is this flows over into the relationship with
others, on into ones spiritual relationship. All three independent
relationships, yet all part of the whole.

Few years ago I read a article,
about how many of us have become "sleep-walkers" going through
life. We basically are like that ball in a pinball machine, we move
along, the course, we slam into a "life obstacle", instead of
seeing the importance of that obstacle, we continue down the course
until slammed again, and hoping like heck not to fall into the hole at
the end of the game. Life isn't about punishment, or being tormented, or
slammed around, its truly awakening from that sleep and living life to
the fullest and its potential. Seeing that "life obstacles" as
lessons, that prepare us, shape us, develop who we are, what we become,
in order for us to share with not only ourselves, but others and our
spiritual journey.

We awaken to learn what it is to
love oneself, self-love. Defined as "regard for one's self",
note it doesn't say "having only concern for oneself". How
many times have we heard the questions asked, "I wonder if anyone
loves me." We begin to base that love on what others thinks and
says, our self-worth isn't based on those who love us or doesn't love
us, its based on "Do we love ourselves." We all have different
beliefs, after studying various beliefs they all in some form or another
come back on this lesson, self-love. It always bring to mind, when Jesus
said, "Love God and your neighbor, as you love yourself."
Basically confirming you can't be one without the other. Over the years
I have heard people state, "Its easier to love others than
myself", reason being its painful to look at the reason we can't
love ourselves, so therefore we "literally stuff that pain"
deep within ourselves, grasping for those "quick fixes" from
the feelings and emotions of loving others.

Self-love is discovering what is
the best for one's own well-being. Discovering that self-love is not
what is always good for others, what is fun, or what makes one feel good
but a honest, self-reflection, self-criticism and analyze that sometimes
maybe difficult and demanding of who we are.

It's discovering what your own
self-needs here are and recognizing them. Self-love demands
self-discipline, self-recognition, and sacrifice yet through the process
will come the courage and strength, thus in turn we are then able to
reach out to others. We begin to learn to take time out for ourselves,
instead of reaching that "burn out stage", knowing when we
need to either let our body rest, or take a mental break. Its learning
to see when we need to step back, and be the care-giver with our own
being. When we do this for ourselves, not only is it healthy for us in
our own growth and daily living it is healthy for those around us.

Recently, in speaking to a friend,
she had shared how tired and frazzled she was with her life and how at
times all she could do was sit and cry. I made the suggestion of taking
some time for herself, her reply back, "With everything in my life,
I have no time." She continued on to tell how with her work she
wasn't accomplishing the daily task required of her, and in her
relationship with her children she wasn't finding the patience to deal
with their problems, how her relationship with her husband was like two
ships passing each other in the night.

We get so busy fulfilling those
"things" "responsibilities" in our life, we feel we
don't have time for ourselves. We send a loud message, "I'm not
worth the time." Like that pin ball game, that process of hitting
one obstacle to hit another, all the time trying to avoid going into
that hole, we find ourselves there sooner or later as my friend had.

No one can stop this spiraling
"sleep walking" process, until one decides for themselves to
end this vicious cycle or course they are on. Take that time today, to
see the importance of how all three relationships have to be nurtured
and tended.

For if one is neglected, it spills
over into the other two. Learn to rediscover you, as the person, the
unique individual. One who is self-confident, one who is constantly
evolving and changing, one who is not "lifeless" but full of
life. One who isn't just seeking answers, but one who is asking
"life giving questions." Take that risk of knowing what to
live means, knowing what the "obstacles" the poundings one
endures, to become life lessons in teaching you of your self-strength,
self-love, self-endurance and self-respect. Going forth to develop
healthy relationships with others and building a stronger bond in your
spiritual relationship.