I am taking you where all men wish you would go on your own. A land called "Fellatio". Fellatio is a magical place where men are king and the only form of worship is the polishing of his penis orally and unselfishly until he explodes like Mount St. Helen's all the back to your wisdom teeth.

Only true "givers" need apply here. Going down and fellatio itself is an art and an art where the attention goes to the subject not the painter. Like a painter you must prepare before you start painting your masterpiece. This is no different for "setting up" the act in advance. It is a treat for a man to know that he is going to get a blowjob, and that you planned it out in advance first is a bonus.


The Plan Stan

By the way, I want to acknowledge all the experienced performers out there reading this who already know a thing or two about removing chrome from a trailer hitch. But this is not just about sucking a basketball through a garden hose; no, this is about seduction and romance. So, even if you already have "skills", then let's start before we start and get his engine running first. Just like you ladies like, it's called a little warm up action.

First thing to do is bait the big boy. Let him know in advance you have a plan to take that stick shift and put it into overdrive. It is the little things like: Calling him right before he gets home and say, "when you get home - don't say a word, come up to the bedroom and be a good boy and pull your pants down".

Whatever he says, repeat the "good boy" part and wait for him in the bedroom. When he comes in, don't talk at all! Did you here me you chatty Kathys?! Don't speak, your mouth is about to turn into a one way street, where everything travels in one direction. Help him undress, when he talks to you, JUST SMILE and continue.

Another or similar scenario is to go to his work or office, tell him you have to talk to him in private. If there is no privacy then ask him to come to the car. Make him think and wonder for a bit. This could also be if you were giving him a ride to work or even the home improvement center. The point is, if you can not corral him at home, a public place (in private) is not just the next best thing; it is really erotic and naughty. Yea!

Make yourself comfortable; make him sit or stand or whatever YOU want him to do, because he will do what he is told.

Now that you are comfy go to work on touching him everywhere with your hands while kissing him all over. Imagine you are teasing him the way you want to be teased - but shorten it up by 15 minutes! He wants you to get to the meat of the meal so to speak.


Different Strokes of Fellatio

There are certainly many methods of fellatio that women perform on their significant other, far too many for here. For sure there are a few things that all men enjoy. Some women really like to use their hands a lot, some too much. The "kung-fu grip" is only necessary if you have put in an hour or more and he just won't blow. Hands are nice, but when used to caress, stroke and even tickle or tease. Men want to see you sucking and enjoying the sucking.

Here is the million dollar secret that is no secret. He wants you to look like a total slut sucking his cock. He wants you to be that little closet whore whose mouth becomes so sloppy wet that you have to post a yellow caution sign on the floor while working that reads, "Don't slip". When a man gets to watch you pleasuring him, the greater compliment is your salivating palate.

Remember, if he thinks you enjoy sucking him, it is a turn on.


Never

Never use your teeth for anything during fellatio. Never press his head too hard on the upper part of your mouth. Never suck a gonad too hard! Never bite. Never think your fingernails are comfortable on a penis. Never wear jewelry - especially rings! Never talk too much during the act. Never take it deeper than you can - choking is a turn off.


Always

Always have a bottle of water near by in case you get cottonmouth. Always slobber and salivate as much as possible - we love the sensation and the sound. Always massage the balls at some point, they need love too. Always suck as if your sucking your mom's tit, you don't want to hurt her, but you want to get as much "milk" as possible.

When pleasuring your man, there are some things that you will learn from him that are off limits. He will also tell you the things he likes with his moans and groans of pleasure.

Listen to those noises, they mean "Yes, do that some more".

For some reason women always want to stop and ask the guy, "Do you like that, do you like what I am doing"? That is ridiculous. You have his penis in your mouth and hand, he is petting your hair and moaning and you want to stop to ask the most obvious question in the world.

It is not a microphone to speak into.

It IS the king's staff, and it must be polished until it discharges warm streams of white creamy love. So relax, be quiet, get comfortable and make sure your guest is taken care of at Club Fellatio.

There are so many ways to have sex and so many positions to have them in, that they are too numerous to mention in one article. Sex is limitless.

Lets face facts though, there is a position out there that is a fan favorite (and player favorite) and that position is "doggystyle" (also spelled "doggiestyle"). This may not be the "ultimate" position for women searching for an easy orgasm, however many women find this to be a real crowd pleaser.

Doggystyle is such a favorite, that I offer 10 different ways to "hit it from the back". Truly one of the most dominating positions for the man and sometimes the woman as you will see from the list. Here is my homemade list taken from a truckload of research; my lap thanks you.


MAN`S BEST FRIEND POSITION

This is the standard for which every pornographic movie has ever been made and will be the foundation for the rest of the list.

Him: On knees, resting on knees and tops of feet, holds backside like a basketball.

Her: On hands and knees, rising appropriately to accommodate his stroke.


MY DOG SHADOW* POSITION

This is a very intimate position and requires both patience and control. Kissing her neck and shoulders at this point will make her put her ass to the grindstone, if you know what I mean. *This is the most romantic of all the doggy style positions.

Her: Standing erect, usually in front of a mirror or open area.

Him: Standing directly behind her in the same position, flush right up behind her, using the bending of his knees to control the body hugging stroke.


THE PET SITTER POSITION

Just like when you come home and find the sweet babysitter asleep on the couch, you realize you need to make it easy. Now you have her locked into a submissive and comfy position while you stroke it from the back. This position is a selfish one for the male, yum.

Her: On knees, facing the inside of the couch with upper body rested.

Him: Standing behind her, using palms to lift the bottom of her ass up and gently spread it.


DOG SLED POSITION

This is for that little sweetie that can take a pounding from any position any size and just begs for more. MUSH!

Her: On her back, legs lifted high with feet and ankles over his shoulders if possible.

Him: On knees, sitting upright with his and her hands locked as if he is holding the reigns and she is the sled.


POLICE DOG POSITION

She knows what you`re looking for when you start patting her down in this position. She is saying arrest me! Apprehend me! Take me in! This position puts your princess in prime position for an ass poking as well.

Her: Up against a wall, standing, facing it with her body spread for a cavity search.

Him: Standing behind her, hitting that onion and searching every inch of the criminal`s lovely body.


THE LOVING PET POSITION

This is my favorite on the whole list. She becomes the master of pleasure in this position and is in total control. If your playmate has any spice, she will do this one for you without asking.

Him: On knees, sitting upright and rigid, he does not move, keeping his penis stationary.

Her: She is on her knees in front of him and she does all the movement with back slightly arched. She controls the strokes and literally polishes the head of his penis with her silky little slit.


TOP DOG POSITION

Only a horny little acrobat with creativity and spunk can pull this off. This will be the only example of doggy style with the man lying on his back. You Go GIRL!

Him: Lying on back with legs close together, hands gently on her hips to help her stroke.

Her: On hands and feet squatting inverted over him, feet spread apart over his and balancing with hands on both sides of his torso. What a giver!


THE DEAD DOG POSITION

You would have to be one loose goose to be able to take this doggy style position, which is one of being "submissive". If the guy pulls a jackhammer and she can take it, then marry her.

Her: On the bed in the "splits" position, feet as spread beyond the point of muscle control.

Him: Standing behind her with hands preferably pulling her hair while he pounds. Alternative hand position is on her shoulders.


DOWN DOG POSITION

Much like the yoga position this is the most satisfying doggystyle position for the man.

Her: On her knees, with knees spread and her lower back pushing up as she rests her head to the bed, with her arms slightly over her head.

Him: Behind her on his knees and his hands on the small of her back, keeping that back slightly arched and pooper up high while he does the long stroke and his balls hit her clit.


THE UNDERDOG POSTION

HER FAVORITE ~ don`t forget it, this will be the most satisfying of all doggystyle positions for the woman.

Her: On one knee, the other knee is lifted or rested on a few pillows, she is spread and relaxed.

Him: Behind her at a slight angle to accommodate the larger entry, he gently "peels" back her bottom opening it even more for a v e r y slow stroke, all the way in and all the way out. She feels the tip of the head to curve of the balls in every stroke. (*Try to last longer than I do in this position.)

Well there you have it, the ten best doggystyle positions to satisfy even the most seasoned professional. Keep in mind if you`re looking for anal sex, some of these will not be the program your girl signed up for, so be cautious and communicate. Eventually you will recognize the sound of discomfort from the sounds of pure pleasure.

How To Give Oral Sex (and Make Your Relationship Taste Good)

1. Understand That What Turns You On Isn’t Necessarily What Turns Her On

Women do get turned on via their eyes; however, your favorite porn movie probably isn’t going to do the trick.

Porn is still made, by and large, for men. Want to know what turns her on? Take a look through her magazines and books, think back over the movies she insisted on seeing, and you’ll get a good idea of what she likes to think about when she wants to get in the mood. Does she have any erotic literature hidden away?

Read through it when she’s not around and get a good idea of its tone and feel so you can surprise her with a new book along the same vein. Don’t admit you’ve been digging through her private stuff, just tell her that a friend told you this new book really turned his girlfriend on when he read to her from it and see if she’s game to having you do the same.


2. Talk to Her About Sex Articles From a Magazine

A great way to get her thinking about sex with you is to get her talking about sex in general. Flip through both of your current magazines and find interesting articles on sex where you learned something new. If it’s your magazine make sure it’s something positive for women, like a new position, or great tips on oral sex to give her more pleasure…

But here’s the trick, don’t bring it up when you want to get some – bring it up when you’re out at dinner together, or on a way to a friend’s party. She’ll be impressed you’re thinking about improving your sex life together and the conversation will probably be steamy and enlightening for the both of you.


3. Flatter Her in Unexpected Ways

One of the biggest things women complain about is that men only compliment them when they’re already in the mood for sex and can’t wait to jump on them. Stop flattering her when you’re already drooling and instead give her small but thoughtful compliments throughout the day.

Tell her she how great she looks when you pass her in the hall on the way to class, or when she’s on her way to work. Call her the day after she made dinner for you and tell her how much you appreciated it, leave a note on her car and tell her you’re thinking about her, bring her flowers just because.


4. Be a Tease

The great seducers are great teases. They know the brain is the biggest sex organ and they know how to get the mind of the object of their seduction “teased” into sexual interest in subtle, slight of hand ways without being overt and obvious. Just how sly can you be? Just how sweet and flirty can you be? Just how many ways can you insert seemingly innocent “double entendres” into your conversations together?


5. Indulge All of Her Senses

Plan a short road trip, or just a full day of fun, and consciously work on indulging all of her senses in sexy and imaginative ways. Make sure you smell great, wearing a touch of her favorite cologne (but not too much). Choose great sexy music to listen to in the car. Eat at one of her favorite restaurants, or try something new and exotic you’ve heard good things about. Spend time in nature in some place beautiful. Go to an amusement park and ride the roller coasters and eat some great chocolate.


6. Dress to the Nines For a Big Night Out

Most women love to get dressed up for a big night out. Sure they love to spend hours making themselves gorgeous but they also love to see how great you look all spiffed up. Take her to a play, the opera, and a concert – any excuse for you to put on a suit and tie and remind her why she was so attracted to you in the first place.


7. Take Her to a Sexy Movie

It’s the holiday season and that means romantic movies for adults are coming out – take her to see one starring the male lead she likes the most. Yeah, I know, you probably think it’s just a “chick flick” but hey, if it gets her hot and bothered to see Jude Law making out with a beautiful co-star who are you to complain?

If you can’t find one playing that she likes rent something romantic, sexy and foreign. The French especially make great movies with adult plots, and yes adult sex, handled in a tasteful but amazingly sexy ways that will have your girl ready to go before the movies even over.


8. Take Her Lingerie Shopping

Don’t come home with some bright red or bright purple pair of crotch-less panties wrapped up for her to freak over. No, here the idea is to get both of you excited with the adventure of lingerie shopping. Make an afternoon of it.

Check out both the hot little boutique that sells the expensive European stuff as well as one of those new “girl friendly” sex shops that sells everything from seamed stocking to the latest sex toys. While you’re at it, buy a new sex toy together – let her pick it out. By the time you get home she’ll both be ready to model the lingerie for you and use the toy.


9. Surprise Her With Dinner and a Hot Bath

Tell her you’re going to take care of dinner for a change. If you can’t cook buy some nice things at your local gourmet grocery store and arrange them nicely. Create a great atmosphere with candles and some festive mixed drinks, or a great bottle of wine. Tell her to call when she’s on her way so you can surprise her by running a hot bath.

Use bubbles (kudos if you buy her some new great smelling bath soap), light candles, and if you’re really romantic, sprinkle rose petals from the door to the bathroom…


10. Spend an Evening With a Few “Red Shoe Diaries” & a Great Bottle of Wine

Yes, they’re pretty tame compared to your favorite porn, but the “Red Shoe Diary” videos are pretty racy compared to what most women are use to watching. The stories are a bit silly, but the actors are great to look at for both sexes.

And I guarantee after a night where you ran her a hot bath (which you might have shared), and you made (or brought in) a great dinner, after a couple of these films – trust me – she’ll be ready to drag you off to the bedroom. Be ready to make your move.

A few weeks ago I had a date with a MILF that ended in over an hour of car sex. She is blonde, busty and rich…the trifecta! So what does a gorgeous female deserve after buying ME a $200 meal? I know you are thinking she was my sugar momma and I would have to give her a full night of scandalous sex to satisfy her and her wallet, and not anything goes sex in the car.

But you are wrong my disciples of desire. In fact car sex was the way I rewarded this blond bombshell. I screwed the hell out of her in the back of my truck. Yes, after an expensive meal at a fancy restaurant I pulled over into an office park off of Pacific Coast Highway and for over an hour I put the pedal to the metal of that sweet blond bunny.

I am a big fan of car sex because it is erotic and you don't dirty the sheets. Ssex in the car - or in my case the Quad Cab - can be extremely fun and intense. Now I will start by saying that if you own a Mazda Miata or a Mini Cooper that they better be convertibles or you will have a kink in your back that really smarts.


Dashboard Confession

This car sex position is kickass if you have bucket seats! The dashboard confession looks just like that…a confession. You (him) are sitting upright in the passenger seat and your girl is sitting on your lap and posed in a forward position with her hand on the alter….uh I mean dashboard.

She will use her hands to push and grind religiously on your lap while dusting off the dash with her sweaty palms. You (him) will place your hands on her waist or hips and help her with taking you to the "higher power" of orgasm, occasionally lifting her bottom off your staff of joy.

The downside to this position is that it has the highest "BUSTED" factor of any position. Because you are both facing the same way you can't se others, like cops, come up behind you and surprise you. And, because you are both in the same seat of an empty car that is not moving you are inviting onlookers and voyeurs to watch your girl receive her pleasure penance.


Back Seat Driver

You knew this one was coming! The backseat (if you have one) is the ultimate place to be the Road Warrior. Lean the other seats forward so you have moving space, leg room and a place to hide.

Frankly I am a bit of a showoff so when we were in the parking lot we got right in the backseat. My Quad Cab could seat 3 sumo wrestlers back there let alone a blond hottie I sat in the middle of the bench seat upright with my legs spread on both sides of the console.

Hot MILF Momma got on top in the straddle position as if to ride that pony back to the barn. She had to duck her head a little until she just poked it out the back window.

Can you imagine seeing a parked truck with tinted windows and a blond head bobbing in and out of the back window? I can.

The upside to the backseat is you can sit up and/or lay flat to get it on with YOUR stick shift being the only one in the way. You can lie down and hide if you hear a noise or want to pass out from flooding the engine. Plus, I learned the hard way it is better to get sweat and body fluids on the back seat then the front.


4 on the Floor

This is the bomb-diggity for the guy when it comes to Mad Max positions. This position incorporates the Backseat Driver and "cranks it up a notch". This position is when you really want to "drag race" hard and fast and get to the tape.

In the backseat you push the seats forward as far as they will go and even lean them forward toward the dashboard. You will get behind her as she leaves one leg cocked up on the bench seat and one leg is on the floor.

You will put yourself in the same position, leaning forward and keeping low in the back as you "bring up the rear". That is 2 on the Floor.

Now for 4 on the Floor, if you are both flexible then turn your bodies so both of you are facing toward the backseat and both of you have all four legs in on the floor in the back seat. You will have to spread her legs and fold them upward to give yourself room - hopefully she is flexible enough because this is the HEMI when you are driving it home. Bend her forward and floor it.

The downside to 4 on the floor is that is very uncomfortable for her. Don't tell her that though. The upside to 4 on the floor is you will be done soon or you will have a monster Charlie Horse.


The Grand Prix

Car sex is not always the most satisfying but it is definitely fun, exciting and adventurous. I highly encourage you to try a new "road map" the next time you and your girl are out and about.

Whether you go out to dinner or on a road trip you will never look at your car the same way again. Why do you think all those people go to NASCAR races? Did you think it was the race? No, it is the "tail gaiting" parties.

So the next time you go to dinner, take a detour on the way home. Pull into a parking lot and have some fun. If you see a truck with a blond head bobbing, then find another parking lot break in your driving skills, this track is not big enough for the both of us.

PS... Bring a towel for the pit crew.

HTHGS: Male G-spot,

Technically men do not have g-spots. The g-spot refers to a particular part of the female anatomy. After wetting your latex covered finger with saliva or water-based lubrication, slowly insert it into his rectum. Use a steady gentle movement to push your finger into the rectum. Take your time, it is the outer most third of his rectum that is the most sensitive. Going slowly increases his desire for more, and allows both of you enough time to adjust to this new technique/sensation. Begin moving your finger in and out. This helps to relax the surrounding area. Once both of you are feeling comfortable, and your finger is fully inside, curl your finger upwards, and begin making the 'come here movement' with your finger. This motion in effect has the tip of your finger tapping on his prostate. Some men are able to orgasm from this form of stimulation. Some men desire this form of stimulation combined with oral sex. It is this tapping of the prostrate which is sometimes referred to as the 'male g-spot'.

Tips written by Alex Robboy, LSW

-------------------------

HTHGS: Locating the G-spot

Place your index finger into the vagina and touch the anterior wall. It is approximately a finger length up. Many women like having the person touching them use their index finger to place some pressure on the wall. Try making the 'come here motion' with your index finger. Allow the tip of your finger to tap on the anterior vaginal wall. Let her level of excitement guide your movements. Talk with her, and ask her how different forms of touch feel. Some women may not like the feeling of being touched there and may even find it painful. Another way to tell if you are indeed touching her g-spot is that there will be a change in texture. The g-spot area will feel fleshy, like a small area of wrinkled skin. In contrast, the surrounding area will feel taut. The shape of the g-spot is similar to an upright kidney bean. In addition to touching her g-spot with your index finger, I would strongly encourage you to use your tongue (remember all those tongue exercises!) and stimulate her clitoris, inner & outer lips. The combination of fellatio (oral sex) with g-spot stimulation is enough to make most women become extremely excited.

This tip is written by Alex Robboy, LSW