|
VIEWING 1 - 3 OUT OF 3 BLOGS.
MY FIRST TIME
DATE: 05/15/2008 15:43:12 / MOOD: full of life
It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
View Entry
Jamaican Hell
DATE: 05/06/2008 15:38:28 / MOOD: full of life
HELL IN JAMAICA
A man dies and goes to hell. He discovers that there are different Hells for each country. First he goes to the German Hell and asks what they do there. First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for an hour. Then the German Devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day. He doesn't like this so he moves on. He goes to the U.S. Hell, the Canadian Hell, and the U.K.
Hell, and discovers that they are
all the same. Finally, he comes across a very long line of people waiting to get in and asks,
"Which Hell is this?" "Someone tells him, "Oh, this is the Jamaican Hell."
"What do they do in here?" He asks. "Well, first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for an hour, then the Jamaican Devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day!" "But that is just like all the other Hells". The man said, "Why is the line so long?" "Cause inna de Jamaican Hell, the electricity always lock off, the electric chair naah work, sumbady tief di nail dem,and di
Jamaican Devil a public servant, so he cum in an' punch him time card, den garn a Rum Bar fi play domino fi di rest a di day!"
IRIE !!!
View Entry
Granny Defence
DATE: 05/06/2008 14:50:24 / MOOD: full of life
Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Little
Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him
"Take me, young man. Take me now!"
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard
View Entry
|
