DATE: 02/26/2007 18:09:22 / MOOD: happy

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service. The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a 'Thank You' card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A cop goes for a haircut, and he also goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service. The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a 'Thank You' card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

A Jamaican goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service. The Jamaican is, of course, very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there????

(You know it!!!) A dozen Jamaicans waiting for a free haircut...


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DATE: 02/26/2007 18:08:41 / MOOD: happy

Three Americans and three Jamaicans are traveling by an AMTRAK train to a conference. At the station, the three Americans each buy a ticket and watch as the three Jamaicans buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an American.
"Watch the ride my yute!" answers a Jamaican.

They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Jamaicans cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train is departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.

So after the conference, the Americans decide to copy the Jamaicans on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Jamaicans don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed American. "Watch the ride my yute!!" says a Jamaican.

When they board the train the three Americans cram into a restroom and the three Jamaicans cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Jamaicans leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Americans are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please".

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DATE: 02/26/2007 17:47:02 / MOOD: lonely

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

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DATE: 02/24/2007 10:54:16 / MOOD: happy

Tricked Him

 

One day this girl, who is wearing a skirt, goes out to play with her friends.

She goes to the park and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees.

The boy says to the girl: "Go on climb that tree."

The girls climbs up and the boy just stands there and looks up to the girls pants.

After a while the girl goes home and tells her mum about what happened.

Her mum says: "oh my stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The next day she went out again with her skirt on and met THAT boy again.

He told her to climb again and she did.

when she got home she tells her mum what happened again and her mum says: "My stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The girl replied and said: "No actually I tricked him, this time i did not wear any pants!"

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DATE: 02/20/2007 16:29:47 / MOOD: happy

Internet addiction.  Is it good or bad?  Not really sure but I admit I am.  You can end up spending alot of time on the internet and not know where the time went.  But as long as its fun, its ok.  But if you end up on the computer day and night to the point you are ordering your breakfast, lunch and dinner through the net then you have a real problem and need help quick.  If you start talking in person using computer shortcuts (e.g. lol, lmao, ttyl)  then you are addicted.  If your fingers arch in a curve from typing too much and can't straighten it out.............then you're an addict.  And you know most of you reading this now can relate to all this.  First step is to admit you have a problem and acknowledge it. Next step is to keep on chatting cause you know you love it. 

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DATE: 02/20/2007 13:19:12 / MOOD: dont know

What is going on with this Anna Nicole thing.  What a mess she leave.  She always wanted to be famous like Marilyn Monroe.  Well, she did that plus more cause not only she was a loose cannon like Marilyn, she got a child in the midst of this mess.  They just need a dna to shut this circus down cause the life she lived, it could be any man she was involved with.  What a damn shame.

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